rase kehilangan

I miss you so much Opah.
I love you so much Opah.

Cos you gave me the most wonderful Mama ever.
Cos you gave me the best aunties and uncles that no one could have ever imagine.

When Noni was four(4) years old, you said, that we are lookalike.
Noni felt so proud on my own, at that time, Pah.
And durin' that age, Noni also thought, that you would live forever, o~ Opah.

Whenever I told you about what I wanted to do in my life,

you always say, "Ye, Opah doakan."

But now, that you are no longer here, physically,
I hope, all my doa, will deliver to you nicely.
I hope you rest in peace Opah.
Noni misses you so d*mn much.

Noni wasn't a good cucu of yours Opah, Noni knows,
So, what did Noni do was, Noni put a nice 'make-up' for you before you were sent to see HIM with that special bedak sejuk given by one mak cik. It was rose-scented one, Pah.
And Noni, wrote "بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم" on your forehead, personally, Pah.
While kak Yan put some eyeliner and tied your hair.
Kak Yong helped all the Mak cik-Mak cik to have your body tied nicely with kain kapan.
I hope you look nice, Opah and Noni thought, you did look gorgeous.
'Cos, someone told Noni, Noni couldn't recall who, she said that, there's a mak Cik said,
"Bagusnye cucu2 Kak Mah, cantik Kak Mah."(the concept is there, cos Noni don't really remember much details, Pah)
The ketua Mak Cik said, "Opah must look nice, 'cos Opah wants to see Allah."

Opah, we all, the cucus, managed to mandikan, mengusung and kambus Opah till the end, Pah.
Iwe and Aim were the cucu that helped Pak Uda to put you into your seven x three feets 'bed', Pah.
Mimie, Anis, Ya, Kak Julie, Ayu, Aina, Ija, Pina under the inspection of Aunty Dolly and Mak Zan, they together cut daun pandan into three-inches long, to taburkan on your grave that later, Pah.
Oh yeah, few minutes before that, Mimie and Ya got all the fresh daun pandan from Mak Unggal's house, earlier.

Everything was so sweet and smooth, Pah.
Nia, Ela, Kak Yan and Kak Yong, helped each other by doin' this Domino's Pizza-bread-twisted-shape-liked towels for all those 'random citizen'who helped all the business, Pah.
Anyah helped to clean the spilled water, that spilled durin' your last bathe, when everyone sent you to be prayed and tanam.
And all of Opah's cucu lelaki, they helped to lift Opah, from here to there, from there to here.

Everyone was so helpful, that Noni feel so happy and regret at the same time.
Noni didn't spend so much time wif you, Pah.
But still, Noni felt so grateful too, that Noni managed to jaga Opah at Hospital Ipoh, for 5 days, before.
Opah,
Noni supposed to jaga Opah, at that night, but Opah left Noni in the evening.
Noni was already in the ETS EMAS train Opah, that was 1805 hrs.
But Noni received the news regardin' your condition, at 1815 hrs, Pah.
Noni was, stunned.
And sumthing happen to Noni's phone, that Noni could not get through to anyone., right after Noni saw Mimie's whatsapp message and Ya's incomin' call. Noni didn't even manage to pick-up the call, Pah.
But, gratefully, at earlier, Noni managed to send WhatsAPP texts to Ya, sayin' that, "whatever happen, please fetch Noni at the Ipoh KTM station at 2015hrs."
But at the end, Noni reached Ipoh at 2035hrs.

In the train,
Noni was so puzzled, that Noni couldn't really digest on what happened that time. Plus, with Noni's phone buat hal.
Noni cried alone in the train, while facing the window. Lookin' at the sunset.
Noni didn't know to whom should Noni mengadu to.
Noni was alone with a lot of Chinese passengers.
So, Noni thought Noni only has ALLAH.
Noni was so happy when Noni first entered the train, thinkin' that Noni will jaga Opah that night, letting Ya, Mak Long, Umi, and Anis to have some rests.
But...............

Noni was only at Kepong train station when Noni lasts seen the WhatsApp sent by Mimie. Noni called Ya, but Ya tendang the call at first, before Ya returned Noni's call, and that was the moment when Noni wasn't able to pick the phone up, as the phone buat hal. Padahal, the battery was still like half-life(tibai je Noni ye Pah.).

As soon as Noni reached Ipoh, Noni suddenly was reminded, that Ya was once, wrote her phone number on a piece of random paper. Noni looked thoroughly in Noni's purse, and, ALAS! Noni found it!

Nothingelse came out from Noni's mouth, than "الحمد لله" , Opah.

Once the train had stopped, Noni rushed to the outside, scannin' through the scene, hopin' Ya is around.
But no, Ya wasn't there, yet.
So Noni asked the Pak Cik taxi, if they know any function-FUL public phone booth, and, again, "الحمد لل"
there is one, near the public toilet.
Noni ran like a wind(exaggerate only k Pah), and made a quick-check to see if the phone booth works fine, and,
"الحمد لل" again, it works.
Noni managed to reach Ya,

"Noni! Awak kat mane???"
"Noni baru sampai, Ya! Ya kat mane???"
"Anis da masuk, ce awak tengok!!"

Then Noni turned around, and Noni saw, Anis, havin' this kinda Superman pose, runnin', calllin' Noni, that Noni thought she would fly into the sky in any seconds, and,
"Kak Noni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ok Ya, dah ade." Noni told Ya through the phone

"Kak Noni baru sampai." Noni told Anis.
Then Anis replied, "Ok jom."

So, we all three went back to Mak Long's house.
Noni just waited there, and all Noni could do is to ngaji for you Opah.
That's all Noni could do.
Noni supposed to jaga Opah, remember? Noni even wore Noni's favourite cool-look sweater, for the chillin' night.
Noni didn't understand how Noni felt that time.
Noni sat alone in Anyah's room, and finished perform all the solat jamak.
Noni ngaji, ngaji and ngaji...........

So, Noni, Anis and Ya, together in Ya's car, we went back to Bidor, your house.
We talked and talked, on what's really happened.
And, oh yeah, Opah, before we left to Bidor, Noni went back to Hospital Ipoh, back to your pre-final last bed, to get Mak Long's handphone charger, that she left behind before. Noni supposed to go there remember, Pah? Noni salam the Chinese Aunty that was your jiran katil, Pah.
Noni said, "Thanks Aunty."
And we both exchanged smiles.
And so, we all three, Ya as the pilot, Anis as the co-pilot, and Noni as the stewardess(nak jugakkan, Pah), we went straight back to Bidor.
In the meantime, Noni felt, Ya is so-not a racer, Pah, cos, Noni felt she drives very NOT fast.
But, Noni also think that, no one needs another three bodies to be settled at that time, though, so Noni just kept it within myself.
The thing is that, Noni felt things around Noni, run very slow.

Ya told her side, Anis told her side, and Noni also told Noni's.
We three, really had the most memorable stuff Noni think.

Ya, saw your last breath.
Anis with her dramatic story of her and Umie's journey to go back to the hospital from mak Long's house as soon as they heard about your death, when they just happened to finish their 'night shift', earlier.
And Noni, about how stucked Noni was, as Noni was so helpless in that train with non-function phone story, alone.

As soon as we reached Bidor,
All Noni saw was,
You looked so 'pretty' Pah,

Opah~ Pah, Noni and Ya, recited juz 1 and 20 especially for you Pah.
I hope you receive the love from that recitation.

You are loved by so many peeps.

I love you Opah.

Al-Fatihah to Allahyarhamah Rahmah Binti Tahir.

*Suddenly Noni is reminded, that when we were almost finished cut all the daun pandan, Mak Cik Saemah came, bringing another bunches of it, that Noni thought, we had to cut the whole-ladang worth of daun pandan.
So, hopefully, your grave smells nice, Pah.
*And the reason Ya tendang Noni's call was, that was the moment of your last breath, Opah~ yang Noni sayang. Ya told Noni that later, Pah.

Opah, Noni sayang n rindu Opah.

Rest In Peace, Opah.

Al-Fatihah to Rahmah Binti Mohd Tahir