Tidakkah Mereka Pernah Lihat Mereka-Mereka Yang Menerima Balasan?

 

In 5 days, the daughter will turn 1 year and 1 month old. The same day, something big happened too. 

The day I am myself again. 

I wonder. Why so determined? Who led it? Whatever happened, I rather astonished. 

In the name of Allah, I did my best. Plus, I was better, while maintaining whoever I was. I am self-sufficient. In a way that, I never need another human being to back me up. And I don't think that is an unknown. Not at all.

Suddenly that person acted up as if I have changed. At this point, I do want to puke.

 Thinking these ways, I think will only put me into regressive mode. I can't be that. 

I am not sad at all. But what affected me is, my offspring. We never separated even a day since they were born, unless I was hospitalized. But now, I already created a schedule of meeting them. 

Allah...

Please make me strong. 

And I am sorry, I am not the type that is so nice, can still pray for goodness of the people who put me in this current life. May Allah make them suffer, as how I am.

I know that there is a better way to pray. But me, I am a normal human being, a woman, a mother. A mother that is constantly missing the life she supposed to have with her children. But now, she has to pretend as if she accepting every actions done by these 'short-circuit-ed', that once called, 'brood'.

According to my previous life experience, good thing is on its way for me.

And all these ill-typed of prayers would soon vanish from my mind.

Because at the end, I am pity of these people, for their inability to realize about their own actions.

Pity and disgust.