Today is a new mark



Starting from the moment I finished my school, my life has been tested by HIM personally, and I just realized it now. What kind of test? Well, have to say that, things started not to go as the way I've planned. That's all. And it's been almost seven(7) years since then. And only now, I think, I have reached to a stage where, I stop expecting so much, let go of something that make me become a negative one no matter how much I love it; especially the money part, the thing is, I just finally decided to suppress my own desire, and fit myself with the society-expectation. 

 Have to say, it's a tough decision, though, but I guess, I ain't that young to say stuff like;
"No rules~", "I am what I am!", "bla bla",
anymore.

 I think that's a mature sign. *smugs

But seriously, things really stop following my desire since the moment I told earlier. When I don't like it, I have to deal with it because I have no choice. But when I started to love it, is when I have to leave it behind. It's true that I had also gone through a situation where I just couldn't believe with everything that happened to me. And that was the time when I believe that, I forgot that it was my sole-CREATOR plans. I forgot. (Forgive me o~my LORD). And as to think again, why the heck was I thinking that I could actually control my destiny? Seriously. Then again, as I regain my sanity, I will say to myself that everything is a test. Why tests? Of course, as my indicator of patience and toughness, hence, leading me to either into Jannatul-Firdaus or Jahannam of HIS. Seriously, I want to be in HIS heaven. I'll do anything to be there....



And all I have to do now is, to go back to my fitrh, accept the fact that I am a good person, no more identity-crisis thought(where I always burden-up myself with), and yeah, I am simply already a mature person since I was young, I have to admit(*rolling eyes). But I guess, it's just happened that my life was a bit upside-down at those times. And Mommy won't always be beside me anymore. I am going to be an adult now. I have to live it myself. I do have so many flaws, and I have to accept it and when there is an opportunity, I would even convert that flaws into something beneficial. How I wish it's not only for myself, it's also for people around me, at least.
Stay moderate, natural, neutral, and positive. After all, my adolescence was filled-up with 'studying' Dr. Fadzillah Kamsah's and Dr. Tuah's pieces rather than schoolbooks itself. Maybe it's time for me to literally realize and practice what I have stored in my mind for so long. 

 Of course, the road won't be that easy. 


Because I want heaven.





Remember?


So if you are kind, please pray for me.

















*Because I already know that, with prayers, wonders will start to happen. I recommend to you guys too. Just always trust ALLAH S.W.T to guide us completely. If I am smart enough, I could tell you guys in details, but things were so miraculous for me that I am still stunned with what is happening to my life. Never stop pray and if you could, cry to HIM. SERIOUSLY, HE will do something. SERIOUSLY. And all I have to do, is to wait for the hikmh to appear, one day, because it's true that, 

























Quran 2:216






















Feel it.



















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