In 5 days, the daughter will turn 1 year and 1 month old. The same day, something big happened too. The day I am myself again. I wonder. Why so determined? Who led it? Whatever happened, I rather astonished. In the name of Allah, I did my best. Plus, I was better, while maintaining whoever I was. I am self-sufficient. In a way that, I never need another human being to back me up. And I don't think that is an unknown. Not at all. Suddenly that person acted up as if I have changed. At this point, I do want to puke. Thinking these ways, I think will only put me into regressive mode. I can't be that. I am not sad at all. But what affected me is, my offspring. We never separated even a day since they were born, unless I was hospitalized. But now, I already created a schedule of meeting them. Allah... Please make me strong. And I am sorry, I am not the type that is so nice, can still pray for goodness of the people who put me in this current li...
I'm actually supposed to start typing that final assessment, Jurisprudence II... hmm... Ok, perhaps I should do it like this, saying stuff that I know. So the questions are: OK let me extract it from the whatsapp group....by now, it's only 2338hours....husband asked me to turn on the air-conditioner. And I have my earphone plugged in.. Perhaps,I should write things here, instead of straighforward-ly type on Words. Oh, husband made(forced) me Neslo, and I already drank 3/4 of it. Kinda being a jerk towards him today, lucky me, I do this at the right time. He can be a lion sometimes, but that time,I would become a Godzilla. Get me? Right now, the clock shows 2346hours...and here I am, easily distracted. My son just farted, at the volume of....well, I'm practically using these completely air-, eh, his leh is in the air.. haha..he's in his cot. So sooo, where were we? the question. Ok... I think I wanna listen to some old time favourite music on YouTube. Eh..I think my so...
Dear Self, It's weird right. Having almost everything that you have been wanted for so long, yet, here you are again, grunting almost every single minute. I mean, what is wrong with now? Is this sad? Or mad? Or simply a depress? What do I keep thinking about "I should've done this, I should've done that" very often. Happiness.. where are you? Where is that enthusiast me? Because, it seems like, I don't even want to get up from my bed, and living the day. I think, if anyone would give a comment about my life right now, they would say, it's already perfect. Normal. Here I am, sighing again. I want to be happy. I think, I remember, back then, travelling made me feel happy. And, making people around me felling comfy, made me feel happy. Unfortunately, some people just screwed it. I tried to be as nice as possible, not wanting to re-do the things I did when I was about to enter adulthood. I thought I did it this time, but it turned out to be, not that. I...
Comments
Post a Comment
Think thrice