post-trauma - PABILA TIADA TAPISAN DALAM PERBICARAAN MEREKA

Not many of them, yet, these small quantities really change my perspective on how I cannot judge peeps from their outer appearance. After all, everyone does have their emotionally-excess side and is imperfect. But.....

Do they really have to be one?












If one has been followed me since the very first entry without failed, one should understand that how much a 'silent' kinda creature I was. Basically, not that silent, but I never talk rubbish. It's true that, I was originally a person that always mind my words. I never irritate peeps with no reasons. Not trying to prove anything here, but, don't you think, I am actually the most normal person on earth?

Hmm...

I just react according to the situation. The worst is always being avoided, that's all. I don't simply mess around with others. So.....what I'm trying to say here is,

WHY THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO CANNOT HIDE THIR TRUE NEGATIVE FEELING TOWARD A PARTICULAR PERSON? IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY DIRECTLY TOLD THE PERSON OR TALKING BEHIND THE PERSON'S BACK, BOTH HAVE NO DIFFERENT IN THE LEVEL OF SIN.

Personally, I did experienced these. I mean, she is not anyoneelse, but, what to do? I am not living within a community where individualism is greatly practiced or getting praised. I think, for all my life, I never question about someoneelse personal life, since I know to the core that, whatever a person had become, everything is written by Allah s.w.t. But to say this out loud, some might still accuse me for being lazy, take stuff for granted and etcetera. Well, I don't get pissed because of this, but, I just.....

You know, I do admit that, sometimes I talk like I am bragging. But, I don't know, it's my style I think. Plus, I never talk about others business. I rather talk about my optimism(where I have to agree that, not everyone can accept it as something cool, and that's so sad), my positive thoughts, and whatever about myself, rather than, 'She got Dean's List?', 'Did he manage to pass the IV?', 'Why would she do that?' or etcetera. In a simpler manner, I really have no interest in others personal business. Unless, I've been told by some random citizens and that's that. I don't elaborate since I never possess the al-ALIM(the ALL-KNOWING) feature, plus, the fact that, what goes around comes around idioms, I just.... *sigh

Eventhough it's been a while since the moment I gone through 'hell', where I felt that 'everyone' treated me like trash, but the dark memories of yesterday, has always make me feel unsafe, insecure and in fear until now. It's so painful, hurt, heart-wrenching, and all kind of sadness that one could think of. But, having me as a person that practice life with so-called pride, I never showed to these people that I am affected by their hurtful remarks, physically. But inside me, I am just................. *pout
























Why I come out with this topic today?















Well..........









Something new happen....


























And in the past few days.......















I learnt something new............




















That I am suddenly reminded about those moments of 'hell'.......






















I just...........



















Don't want my heart to be hurt ever again.........













Never.









Please.






I am just a girl that is still trying very hard to lead a good life..and of course, I always hope that my life becomes better everyday. And if you really care, please don't use harsh words.......advise me..I may not agree in your eyes, but what do you know, what's deep in me.................
You are not Allah s.w.t. 
Only Allah s.w.t knows me.























:|





...and so......it happened.