What kind of lover she is?

As in mean of relationship between a lady and a man.
She's not like most ladies out there especially ladies at her age, but how can she be so sure about it, and even dare to make comparison like that?
She knew that when all the men that she's been 'specially connected' with, previously, they shared the same complaints. What were the complaints?
They always ended up fighting and arguing. As far as she concerns, she's always been a provocative one. Ego? Not so much, because she's too, always the one who apologize in the first hand. But who like to keep a relationship like that? More sounded like a bipolar-type of relationship. And that way, men left her. It's true right? The men? She's calling you out, the MEN.

But to say specifically that she's been dumped, she doesn't think that's really a correct term to use, as she never really has a boyfriend. Like, telling to whomever like,

"Hey! This is my boyfriend."

Never.

It's just that, she'd started to post stuff on Facebook, stuff like telling something lovey-dovey-whatever in indirect manner for the person. Or not, she would do stuff like..err........as she remember those times again, it really gives her a chill and face-palming reaction. How she wishes she never did those. The thing is, she knew those actions will make the men became confused or uncomfortable. But, there were these weird feelings that led her to do one. She didn't have any bad intention, though.

She's a  straightforward. Of course she'll simply tell the men if she's not into something, so she would acting in a little irritating way, and of course she's just being true to herself. But, it seemed like, that attitude didn't really 'blend' well with any of the men. But she doesn't like to be a pretender. Acting like she agrees, when she's not. She didn't know how's the men really feel about it. Perhaps, men do like the nodding-type of ladies. But, sorry, even time has been flying away, she still that kind of questioning-every-things lady. She always has ideas. She's not dumb. Sorry. Plus, fantasizing something seems to be sweet is not her attitude. Not yet.

She'll test your temper. For every more-than-a-friend relationships she ever been through, this was the first thing she'd do. Why? At the first place, why the heck there was 'more-than-just-a-friend'? Of course she'd foreseen her future. Plus, for every single matter in her life, there will always be a purpose. And that's pretty normal to her. But maybe, the rumours are true, that men are always playful. There's no such things as being serious. But still, it's not like she's been so desperate, since she's an expert when it comes to hide her feelings. Maybe sometimes she got busted, but she swears, it's a very rare event. Back to the foreseen topic, who wants to be with a high, uncontrollable temper man? Tell her now. Maybe there are some psychotic ladies do, but definitely not her. So, it's true that she might acted weirdly, or provocatively, and all those were for the sake of her self-relief. At least she can predict what would happen in the upcoming days. But....most of the men gave up too fast. Of course one of them didn't pass the test. Others? They simply left. She referred them as cowards. Even Courage the Cowardly Dog isn't as coward as them. *She put an L-sign on the forehead for them.

Or perhaps, she just did it too much? But she thought she already slowed down on her latest relationship, which was two years ago. Still, the man left her. Pity her, but she's not that simply letting-men-lower-her-pride lady. Of course she coolly let him went, with the word,

"Ok."

And that's the only time she was being a pretender. Pride is too precious for her, that she couldn't let it go, even she's actually started to fall in love in that relationship, for the first time! She knew that was a pure one. Because the previous were only based on curiosity, revenge( she thought all men were as big-bully as her big brother before) and she agreed on, lust. Yes! She's genuinely fell in love!
If she could put the emotions into a mathematics and science, it would seems like these ratios:

Goofing around : She's actually tried : She fell in love

With any men

98.0 : 1.5 : 0.5

The last man of two years ago

50.0 : 28.0 : 22.0

But of course, the first ratios always came up before any other ratios formed. Get her?

Now, it's been two years of not into that special-relationship. Hoping for the last man? She never say yes or no, since if she could, of course the last man had passed many of her hardest tests, where that way the 'She fell in love' ratio to others were risen. And since it rose slowly, all she could admit is, the ratio hasn't drop since then, Pathetic.

Sometimes, she would like to move on. But first of all, she really has no idea how. Plus, loves in her dictionary, doesn't really mean to marry. Rather, someone she can talk about anything. A person who she can get the best advise from. A creature that she would feel delightful whenever-whatever anything has to do with him. Because marriage is still odd to her. Marriage means until either one of them die, then she has to spend her time with. She's afraid of commitment. She's afraid that she ain't that good. She's afraid that, later she might realize that everything is a mistake. So, it's not like she loves him, is to marry him. And all she hopes is that, the man can see that as something respect-able.

She loves to talk about everything once she opens about her real-self, and of course, it only happens after at least a big fight has been occurred as that will be the best time she could judge on how will the man handle the situation. So, other men, if she never want say 'No' to you, don't worry, she has no any intention with you, just friend. But, for more-than -a friend, she's the nicest person any man would meet, once he passes the test. Because she structuring her life like that since she was a small child. So, who's to be blamed? No one, including her. What kind of life she's been through before? Of course they are related.

But, what past is past. Somethings she considers not to implement anymore for her next not-just-friend relationship, but most of the things, she feels like they are still relevant.

So, what kind of lover she is?

Let see and try again, shall her?

But most importantly, she will loved the man, for the sake of Allah S.W.T.