Two faces
I have a dream. For some, it might be so meh, but, for me? It's a huge deal. I want to be a fine person. In and out.
I don't want to evaluate stuff from, 4 or 5 years ago, 'cos they were just toooo out-dated.
Rather, something that I've been consistently working on since exactly 3 years ago. Why 3 years ago? Because that's the moment where I completely left all that 4 or more years stories, away from my life. Those entries, where the hatred were reals. The rage. Were all real sh*ts. I was so mad about many things.
But only 3 years ago, that I decided not to entertain those revengeful thoughts anymore. Why? Because I just chose to do it. No external force. Just me. Where I..in a religious-ful manner, I can say that, it's my turning point in life.
I completely decided to live according to what it is. Less expectation, less rely, less of everything that was once my food.
So 3 years of, I shall call, beta stage, where I practiced a close to perfect character, in and out. I control every single steps and the thoughts. To be perfect. I want to be fine. After those broken years. I think it was a successful one.
I'm back on the my own track. I finally is described again as a secretive one. That's all I need. From here, things will fall back to their places.
From here, I learn how to trust. The hardest thing I have ever done. This thing is an optional, but, since I love to try new things, just a new hobby that I figured out these recent years, so there I go, I put my self into risk, that is to trust others.
And...
Tadaaaaa~
Somebody has intention to break it, or perhaps, it's already broken. Severely.
And, what's the deal about it? I could just ignore, and pretend. But dude.. it's severe. Very severe. That, something about the, stuff that I long time ago, buried, into the deepest layer of the earth, is slowly comes to live, crawling into the surface.
I might sounded like a psycho-wut-ever, but there are actually, even as evil as the evil himself, exist, out there. And the worst, they don't ever admit anything, rather, playing two faces, like a haha.
To me, I am still, okey. Because I'm in my own acknowledgement about myself. I am on an on-going learning process. Constantly looking for solutions.
It's been a while since I literally feel hate and dislike about something, someone. And it's all because of trust issue. Haha.
Well...I'm not angry. But do feel disappointed. Like, a complete wasteful efforts. But.....well, I can just move on. But I don't play pretend game.
...
I don't care, actually. Yeah, this heart is hurt, but not that important. I don't care.
Hmm..
Let's be honest.
Hey you,
I am actually pity on you, your life. You know, you're just a pitiful. That's all.
You, are nobody anymore, in my life. All the best in handling your stuff. Good luck in handling your rather preferred-whatever-living-things. You know, you never even anything, but it's just that, I chose, I chose to let you do anything. But, somebody played it seriously, and, I don't care anymore. Haha.
Pity you.
Very pity. I couldn't find any other better term. Brain, is meant to be used. But, it seems like you prefer to let all the fats taking up the roles, then, haha.
Pitiful. Let me tell you these, everyone is laughing at you, your attitude, but, haha, isn't that more pitiful? Well, people are laughing at me too, but guess what? They know nothing, and I don't mind at all.
It's been 3 years, all these people only knew not more than what I do. Which I am the least proud of, haha, your words are as stink as garbage. You think you have the right to talking about everyone else flaws? Well, one day, all these will go back right into your life. Simple rule of thumb.
Hmm..
Let's just forget you. For all these while, I tried hard to cover you, but, nahh, damage has been done. You messed with the wrong person. You are actually just one of the unimportant stuff, that I have no problem at all, to throw away. Ahhh..Just like how I did back then. Haha.
Why should I let some other people, especially a person like you, to, make me feel negative? LOL.
What have I done. LOLOLOL. To let tears rolled down on my cheeks(LOL) this morning and to divert the stress to my man? Haha
You see, you think you are perfect. Ahh, no one need to be like you, bad mouthing behind people, then at front, when you in needed of something, you used them. Two faces, you are. Simple. No more covers. Wasting as long as 3 years, let's just call it as my own learning process.
I don't need to clean any sh*ts, whatelse to explain to anyone. I just feel pity with your REAL life. Many have been toyed, but soon they will realize.
Good bye.
...oh wait! Not two faces, five faces? Six? Or Eleven? Whatever.
*But, it's never too late to really change. Just, obviously not my job to entertain it. LOL.
Ahh, such a wasteful of time writing all these.
I don't want to evaluate stuff from, 4 or 5 years ago, 'cos they were just toooo out-dated.
Rather, something that I've been consistently working on since exactly 3 years ago. Why 3 years ago? Because that's the moment where I completely left all that 4 or more years stories, away from my life. Those entries, where the hatred were reals. The rage. Were all real sh*ts. I was so mad about many things.
But only 3 years ago, that I decided not to entertain those revengeful thoughts anymore. Why? Because I just chose to do it. No external force. Just me. Where I..in a religious-ful manner, I can say that, it's my turning point in life.
I completely decided to live according to what it is. Less expectation, less rely, less of everything that was once my food.
So 3 years of, I shall call, beta stage, where I practiced a close to perfect character, in and out. I control every single steps and the thoughts. To be perfect. I want to be fine. After those broken years. I think it was a successful one.
I'm back on the my own track. I finally is described again as a secretive one. That's all I need. From here, things will fall back to their places.
From here, I learn how to trust. The hardest thing I have ever done. This thing is an optional, but, since I love to try new things, just a new hobby that I figured out these recent years, so there I go, I put my self into risk, that is to trust others.
And...
Tadaaaaa~
Somebody has intention to break it, or perhaps, it's already broken. Severely.
And, what's the deal about it? I could just ignore, and pretend. But dude.. it's severe. Very severe. That, something about the, stuff that I long time ago, buried, into the deepest layer of the earth, is slowly comes to live, crawling into the surface.
I might sounded like a psycho-wut-ever, but there are actually, even as evil as the evil himself, exist, out there. And the worst, they don't ever admit anything, rather, playing two faces, like a haha.
To me, I am still, okey. Because I'm in my own acknowledgement about myself. I am on an on-going learning process. Constantly looking for solutions.
It's been a while since I literally feel hate and dislike about something, someone. And it's all because of trust issue. Haha.
Well...I'm not angry. But do feel disappointed. Like, a complete wasteful efforts. But.....well, I can just move on. But I don't play pretend game.
...
I don't care, actually. Yeah, this heart is hurt, but not that important. I don't care.
Hmm..
Let's be honest.
Hey you,
I am actually pity on you, your life. You know, you're just a pitiful. That's all.
You, are nobody anymore, in my life. All the best in handling your stuff. Good luck in handling your rather preferred-whatever-living-things. You know, you never even anything, but it's just that, I chose, I chose to let you do anything. But, somebody played it seriously, and, I don't care anymore. Haha.
Pity you.
Very pity. I couldn't find any other better term. Brain, is meant to be used. But, it seems like you prefer to let all the fats taking up the roles, then, haha.
Pitiful. Let me tell you these, everyone is laughing at you, your attitude, but, haha, isn't that more pitiful? Well, people are laughing at me too, but guess what? They know nothing, and I don't mind at all.
It's been 3 years, all these people only knew not more than what I do. Which I am the least proud of, haha, your words are as stink as garbage. You think you have the right to talking about everyone else flaws? Well, one day, all these will go back right into your life. Simple rule of thumb.
Hmm..
Let's just forget you. For all these while, I tried hard to cover you, but, nahh, damage has been done. You messed with the wrong person. You are actually just one of the unimportant stuff, that I have no problem at all, to throw away. Ahhh..Just like how I did back then. Haha.
Why should I let some other people, especially a person like you, to, make me feel negative? LOL.
What have I done. LOLOLOL. To let tears rolled down on my cheeks(LOL) this morning and to divert the stress to my man? Haha
You see, you think you are perfect. Ahh, no one need to be like you, bad mouthing behind people, then at front, when you in needed of something, you used them. Two faces, you are. Simple. No more covers. Wasting as long as 3 years, let's just call it as my own learning process.
I don't need to clean any sh*ts, whatelse to explain to anyone. I just feel pity with your REAL life. Many have been toyed, but soon they will realize.
Good bye.
...oh wait! Not two faces, five faces? Six? Or Eleven? Whatever.
*But, it's never too late to really change. Just, obviously not my job to entertain it. LOL.
Ahh, such a wasteful of time writing all these.
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