Perfectionist? More of remorse.


To develop an attitude where, flaws are not acceptable at all. The trait is in me since I was little, as far as I remember. The result from this? I tried nothing.

I hate failure. I hate to commit mistakes. I hate every negative things around me, even when the time when I feel so negative, myself. Again, I ended up, being plain. Follow the rules, at least. I never a rulebreaker. Never. I'm straightforward. Always.

Not until I learn to try things, on those accidently-joined-ashkar days. Never, until that. A cultural shocking for me, personally, but since I really got furious over a statement said by this one person,
"Eeee, Wani quitter," I was like, "Dude..... don't go too far. I want to quit, not like I can't make it. I just don't want to try it, what do you know?" But that's just remain in me, until I eventually finished the course. I  maybe wasn't the best product, but I just have became better than the one I was before. That's all. Far better. Like, farrrrr better. I know. And during those ashkar days, I learned to be a little not-straighforward. I did break some rules, provided I was with my squad. I never done anything alone. No fun, because, no fun.

Basically, that's what I am today. I am always in the middle. I'm an extrovert as well as an introvert. I can adjust myself pretty well according to the situations. I'm just doing fine nowadays.


So, today, I did a mistake. Well, what kind of living I am leading to, is, actually, very straightforward one, back like before. But there's a loose touch. Still the same old reaction when somebodyelse appointed the mistake. But my body starts to behave very unusual.

A migraine.





....

Really?




I didn't know that was a migraine, until the sufferers describe the symptoms to me. And I was like,
"Damn, I'm getting old."

*sigh



*p/s: Anyway, the mistake was nicely handled by the superiors of the company that I am working at. Maybe haven't really completely finalized, but I feel grateful, to be treated, that nice. After all, for every mistake I had make, I rather be scolded, that way, I could sleep better. But, I am grateful.










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