Perangai


On my mom's birthday 2 weeks ago, I promised to her that I will lower down my temper a lil'. But I can't see or feel any good progression. I especially lose my temper whenever I am asked to 'hold' responsibilities, as simple as doing house chores. Next thing that will drive me nuts, is when I am corrected on anything, Especially from anyone that I have only a lil' respect on(I'm sorry, because my respect on anyoneelse is too 'expensive').

I maybe no longer throw tantrum, but the heartbeats, the breathing, and the heat of my body, I really can't ignore them. I don't really get mad in a way like a dumb adolescence does, but just I hate to go through it. Because I knew that showing off the anger won't make me feel better, but that's that, holding them is so tiring.

But what I try to practice on these beautiful years, I sometimes will let the one who responsible for the madness knows about the emotional situation results from her/his action. But still depends on who. If they are specially the close people in my heart, they they'll know. I always hold then principle of being honest. At least I could convert some of the negative energy into positive one. Because by letting it out, I would feel much better. Right?





But I do really want to become a nice person. But I think the road to become one, is not as straight as PLUS Highway, even Karak Highway is much easier. Rather than wanting to be more richer, wealthier, beautiful-ier(OK, I know wut you think), just about recently I thought that, my temper is what I need to fix first. Because I don't care of whoever does the 'crime', as long as I encounter the above events, my teeth will first start to react. I just don't want to get mad. I really want to be a genuinely happy bom bom. The one can accept other suggestions, perhaps, easily.

Sometimes I smile, but deep in me, I may almost have stabbed you for at least five hundreds time. But wait the minute! I thought all these have long gone. Just recently I started to become like this,

Hey......

What happen to me?






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