Sedikit teknikal

Maybe it's just my wild guess, as always, but I started to realize that most people have been acting so technical-ly in front of me.
There's a lacking in terms of emotions or natural-ty.
I mean, it's full with factual, mechanical, and trust me, even mathematical is included.

Is it normal?

I don't really mean the people that I am not seeing in my everyday life, though, so, you, yeah you, I'm not typing 'bout ya. But since I don't feel like to use my mouth to let this thought get out from my mind, so, just bear with this writing, deal?
Plus, I find that I will forget all these unnecessary-tangled-thought whenever I finished typing, because of I don't know. But one thing for sure, whenever I re-read the previous posts, I will be like,

"Err......did I type all these?" with the most innocent expression on my face, especially the eyes and eyebrows part, because they'll go like pretending to almost popped-out from its 'shelter' and overly frowning, respectively. Aah, that exaggerating side of this blog owner.

Anyhow, back to our technical issue.

Okey, maybe it's true that currently my job requires me to see a little figures and and deal with little calculations(not so in love with these part, though), and also challenging my negotiation skill and involve trust-building on every single working days, which are cool to me, and trust me, it's my dream job which is so thank you Allah s.w.t.

So, maybe the upcoming words might seem how ungrateful person I am, but like I said, it's just my thought. After all, I cannot stop this brain from working. My hope is, I want people to talk casually to me.  Like,

"Ahh, penatnya.."

And replies like, "Tidor la." or similar, or solutions-typed of replies are not something that I want or expect. Because obviously, what more can I say after that? So, just keep saying other things apart from giving a quick-and-short solutions, shall you? Cause, I want a conversation. And it's even cooler if the talks end up with discussions on unicorn or anything craps.

A very demanding one, right? But, of course it's still not really a big deal to be verbally reminded on 'how to make our utility bills to become not a burden to us' stuff. It's just that since I haven't talk to you for sometimes, and when I start to make bonding again, then you start it with that kind of matter, that will just make me feel not to talk further. It's sound too technical, you know. And so please, don't expect me to respond in appropriate manner if they suddenly try changing the topic, or should I say, the CASUAL topic, after the utility bills topic. Sounds so petty, but it's me who's gone through it. I don't mind if my last-time wasn't like the last-time, and it's not like I always want to bring the old things back in this present time, but, why can't they change either? My reactions today, are completely resulting from 'yesterdays'. I learn quick so that no more repetition in making mistakes. Furthermore, I have no interest to do the same 'sh*t' twice or more, once is a total failure already. And please always remember, don't judge me as they are not part of my actions these days. Seriously, I don't mind at all for those who just saw me, and then suddenly talking something false about me, because they just simply don't know. I mean, it's like a natural reaction as how our 'lovely' Deputy Prime Minister said regarding that so-called fiery protest he and 'his people' had done for the sake of UMNO's pride a few months ago.(*rolling eyes)

Because, I want to be as how the people on my TV screen have been acted on. See, I love to exaggerate stuff, but, it's not perfectly untrue, though. When I watch any moving-pictures, or even read books, novels, magazine and any sorts of information materials, I always want to implement them in my life, I mean, the positive one. Watching how a friend sacrificing for the other friend in any army-kinda movies. Reading how an eldest sister have to look up for another six or eight little sisters and brothers since their parents died in an accident in a novel(just read one, though, but the ending was pretty unrealistic, but what do I expect, right, ahakz), a step-by-step guide for a noob to become an attractive creature book by some motivator-become-a-multi-millionaire-thanks-to-all-the-people-who-want-to-know-the-how-how-when-they-actually-knew-how-already-and-that's-what-I-always-called-it-as-MARKETING-gone-right, and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

So, after all those information-digesting processes, I will always come back to one thought, never change since my first movie, my first novel reading, my first chicken soup for the soup and that is;

'One should not expose their negative-side in life, but even so, just have fun dealing with it.'

But I forgot about it, when I stopped watching and reading at some stages of my life, previously. And another thing I realize is, when I stopped doing all that, I became narcissist. Again, very straight-forward. Well, I don't pretend to my self to make living, though, and I hope this attitude stays forever until my last breath. Back to our topic, so, no wonder;

 

This verse in our holy book is the first revelation. I don't want to say much since my knowledge is not yet that above, but, Allah s.w.t 'stated' the word 'read'. Reading a masterpiece as Qur'an is of course, the best reading material out of all. The only reading material that gives me hope, perfect guidance, and peace. Perhaps, I should just let the above issue go. Aahh! It's a test for me! I always forget. But since I remember it now. Let's just stop here. Because, if all these technical treatments I received, could be the one that qualify me to be in HIS eternal heaven, then, why should I bother with this temporary silly-hardship-that-it's-obviously-just-my-selfish-thought.

People, let's read.





*Cecelia Ahern's pieces are so close to my heart. Very.....close to me. I read most of them, and yeah, just love them so much. And currently trying to find time to start reading 'PS, I Love You'. If the other were like fit to be in my handbag so I could read them on my way go to and back from workplace, but this one, is 408 pages. But I love 'Where Rainbow Ends', and 'A Place Called Here', and......okey wait, I just love them all, enough said. And there's a story behind all these start-to-read-novels-again-after-a-long-long-time, and perhaps, I should tell it in the next future entry.

*Whilst for Malay novel, my very first one, the title was 'Noi'. It was a 9th Birthday present from my second big sister, Mimie. (My 10th was Spice Girls 2nd album, still from Mimie, good old times eh). Again, I will summarize them in my future entry, insyaALLAH.