Goodbye Mr. Years-Before-2014
So, this date is gonna be the very last one that belongs to the year. Have to admit plenty of resolutions are queing up to be realized, and have to agree on the fact that, whatever weirdoS had happened since few years back, its all written by the 'BIG GUY ABOVE'. And rather than keep on 'grieving' over those pasts, maybe just leave it completely to the CREATOR, is the best move. Revenge will just kill me someday, and it's a fact, I know, but, the desire to do one, is always there. Hmm..I guess, it's not easy to be me. Anyway, did cleaned up all memory cards, to give ways for 2014 future memory to be stored. The best method that I could think of for now, for th moving-on 'event'. Holding grudge? It's a habit you know, so, I'll try to do which is better. Perhaps, let's just do not mess around with each other, that way, no one will hurt. Have to agree, that my acting ability is no joke, espe... (to be continued in nonin5.blogspot.com)
......cially , since few years back. Or perhaps, rather than saying acting, I think adaptation skill sounds more professional, well eventhough I too, always had a dream of becoming an actress before, being in the spotlight, but DUH~ I know which level I am, so, nah. So, basically, I think I will write whatever comes up to my mind. Right now, I am in Serikin, Sarawak, staying at one of my squad' house, Qistina Yusra Lucas Abdullah(Tina), mualaf, married, two daughters and soon a new baby will be born approximately someday in June, and hey, this is not an ordinary house. One day, when they move out from this place, I'll post the pix. It is for security purpose. It's been raining since the first I came here, which was back in the earliest December of this year and I can now believe on how there are some area in Malaysia, are almost sink. And today, like I mentioned, the last day of the date and for this particular day, too, it has been a heavy raining since 0500 hours. And so, how do I manage to online? Tina already suggested earlier, for me to just buy RM 5.00 Celcom prepaid reload, and get online by using her Celcom sim card since I'm a Maxis user, and then, use the broadband USB whatever(modem), and yeah. I think UNIFI really has spoilt me. You see, if I want to describe everything about my current situation right now, it's gonna take forever, plus no worry, since I have my still on-going journal, since my day of leaving the house, which was on the 2nd of December, 2013. So, I just wanna write my reviews on my past, before, a new number in the year shows up. I am freaking sleepy right now, since I decided not to sleep since the moment I subscribed to the daily broadband thingy, so that I can utilize every single bits before the time is up. I know, I am the stingiest person on earth, and that's just me. Ok what am I now? Basically, I really take my ample time, to write down all these. I go to Facebook somtimes, and back to here and bla bla. Maklum la, dah lama tak online macam kat rumah~. Here, I usually went to Pekan Bau, and used the one and only MarryBrown in pekan Bau, wireless fidelity, though.
Aaaah, I believe that the year 2013 has almost reached it ends(rather than I don' believe!!! stuff, DUH~). And how I see today is, even more than 2013 itself, I prefer to have this 'Goodbye all the years before', than to just say bye-bye to 2013 alone. I want to get up. I experienced many things already. Friendship, jobs, so-called-love-whatever-thingy-but-seriously-I-am-still-single-since-the-day-I-was-born-k-ain't-that-cheap-though, blood-related normal crisis, body-weigh problemo and dreams-came-true moments. So much, and when I say so much, it means, something that I had never planned one. Seriously. Whatever I don't plan, is such a mess to me. Na-ah, not going to happen anymore, I will never let! NEVER!!
Friendship? Even every 1st of August every year, there is this "Happy Friendship Day" greetings at everywhere, and even personally, I had my own memory regarding the Day. Ironically, I never planned to meet a backstabbers, useless, kinda friends in my whole life, but, yeah, I met them. More than one. So that's mean, a lot. I always choose who is going to be a friend of mine. But, to think again, even when I first met these bunches of asking-for-swear-X-friends, I had no choice, but to call them friend. Living together under one roof, for three(3) years, I don't think island myself is always a good idea, when I accidently chose to live in a large society. Where almost every of my movement, was being inspected by these 'concern' society. Seriously, that was a new thing for me. I never give a **** about others life, and as for that, of course I expect people to treat me as one too, don't give a **** about mine. But it looked like, the best way for me was to change my habits, and yeah, it's sucks. I have to leave my 'comfort-zone' by have to follow the majority. Arrgggghhhhh...I hate it, whenever my mind starts to think of those past. Huh. Hmm....But it's okey, at least, I experienced something new, and it is hateful for me, to change into that, but, basically, that's just how actually things should work out as. Society, yeah yeah. No one likes a loner. Loner means weird. Maybe, my life before was only surrounded with blood-related, making that behavior seems to be less weird. But seriously, the moment I lock my room, for the sake of privacy, at once upon a time, also, was a big deal for these bunches of busy-bodierS. Arrghhhh I hate them since before. And it's not my style, to show my hatred on my face, unless, they went overboard, like, super-OVERBOARD. And I can guaratee that it was very rare, and like I typed, I only show my madness, ONCE they went super overboard. Seriously, they are just them, and not anyoneelse, and since, I figured out, that, eventhough, in reality, or even in FB world, we are no longer connected, I have been stalked by some of them, well at least, one of them. She dared to comment my blog? Oh my TAK TAHU MALU punye betina. Ouh sorry, I promise, I'll lessen 'kelongkangan' by times, but whenever I think of them, nothing good comes to mind. And whenever I talk aboit revenge, grudges and stuff, it's all refering to them! And maybe to some fews, but mostly, it's regarding THEM! And hell no I will mention or even type up their identity ever again. Euuwwwwww YUCKS! JIJIK!
And so, what's left for me, I started to track my old friends, and most of them was my school friends. I've been changing schools like for gazillion times, since my kindergarten era, and, so, the list friends in my Facebook account is actually, accurate. Changed plenty of schools were one thing, changed class? Oh my, lately, I have this regret feeling because, I didn't really make a good, I mean, I was too choosy last time. I didn't talk to boys, because of, yeah, before I learned about reproduction topic in the science class during form 3, I believed that, you can get pregnant, by just talking. Ok, maybe that was too exaggerating, but, not so far from that, too. So, better exaggerating than nothing. Seriously, to say if I ever kenekan a friend, I think I only did wrong things, twice. First when I was form 1, and the other one was when form 5. Form 1 action was too jerk, that I don't even wish to remember. Very jerk, and from that incident, I refer myself as a b***h, and you see, not that b**** bitch but, bitchy, you know, arghh, never mind. And then, the form 5 incident, it was almost SPM, but no worry, I did apologize to the 'victim', but what do these incidents share in common is, HUMILIATION. The victims face HUMILIATION. And I'm so sorry, again. Sorry. If you two read these, seriously, kite mink maap. Next year kite nak lupekan sume.
Sometimes, I do want to face the fact that the 'todays-weirdoS' is the 'Retribution-of-the-pasts weirdoS'? If it so, I hope, I am now at 'kosong-kosong' condition. Hmm..which means, I already receive my punishment, so, good bye old times. But, seriously, if any of the reader here, have anything to tell, maybe about something that I might hurt you, but then, you see me, acting like nothing, perhaps, tell me first. Because, I do not simply forget my badass~NESS, like that. Meaning that, if I know a things happened because of me, my fault, I really will apologize. But if I never meant to be bad or stuff, I'm sorry, I will apologize if you ask for it, but lemme just tell first, it will never be a sincere one, plus, I will. I am not a bad person, eventhough, I always have the desire to do one. Have you ever heard some terms like, "Bisikan syaitan yang ingin menyesatkan semua anak-anak Adam, hingga kiamat." or "nafsu diri ialah musuh yang paling utama"? Yeah, those external forces are what I meant. Of course I did went astray, at one time of my life, but now, I never want to do it ever again, and all I hope is, the ALMIGHTY will accept my repent, a NASUHA one. Cause, seriously, only that one time.
And now, I can smile sincerely again, sorting process just goes very well, since this year, I still have loyal friends. Loyal? I don't need a friend that will do anything for me, in any weather condition, just to see me happy kinda loyal, just a friend that, still talk to me like nothing has happened, and treat me like how a friend should be. Remember, a friend, is only a friend, the privilege is never be the same as how the blood-related has. So, it's funny, when those bunches, thought, they can come to my house, badmouthing me to my own mother. Stupid. May they enter hell. Fuhh, it looks like, I can never forgive them. Don't ask me why, try to experience one first, then only we'll talk. My mom cried. So, they HUTANG me that.
But, thanks to some people that is the best I can say for now. Tina, 22 Hearts, skuad laki, and few others. I will write when I remember. These are non-blood-related people, that I confidently, have trust in them. The rest, enough if I refer as kawan biase-biase saje.
Jobs..
Whatever it is, I have proved to myself, that I can actually work under people, I can work without getting any payment, I can work. But some issues like, have a arrogant boss that loves to swear at anyone, anytime and anywhere she likes depending on her mood, non-solah kinda working environment eventhough they are Muslims, fragile administration, 24/7 of working time, superior badmouthing inferior to my colleagues and non-worth payment, I have to let go. I am not as stupid as they thought, and, sorry, almost all of them are not as smart as I thought too. But, who cares, of course, I always had a dream to work on my own, and to even be a leader to some employees, and after few experiences, of course I want to be better than any of my bosses, and thanks to them, for such horror moments. And let me mention this first, before any of you, judge me, my jobs were not in an office. I want to set my solah time as whenever I wanted, I want to make useful of my time, and I will not scream. I am a ratinal person, but once they really pushed me, like asking personal questions, that's my pantang. I am a professional person. I don't care of anyoneelse problem, but what I know is, I did my jobs perfectly. Appreciation is not what I seek for, and so do swearS! What kind of leader that swears everytime, and insult others??? Oh my. You know who you are. Aaahh.
Hmm....
Anyhow, I am on the right track now, well, maybe a little 'slipped' from the original, but hey! That's not so weird, since, I am only a servant of HIS, and from what I feel, this way is much better than the earlier plan, anyway. And as long as I am still OK with it, who will give a cent of what others perception? None of my business, and neither theirs. Don't worry, as long as I work, pray and tawakkal, Allah's s.w.t will, everything will be fine. I just type up, I also not sure with what future lies ahead of me. Oh yeah, since I 'work' for Airforce Officer, too, well, not really work, errmmm...I don't know.
*Better take five(5) first. Haven't sleep since forever, though. And what's the direction of these wrinting oso, I dunno~ lalalala
Ok, just came back from accompanied Cat, to get her Digi prepaid reload. Where was I. Aaa, job. You see, I'll throw all my negative this year, so that I can expect a little more positive for next year. Hmm, I'll save the positive for next year's post. I still haven't decide, to keep writing daily. Maybe I should try for weekly, so that I can do many things else. You see, even to write a tiniest stuff also require a lot of energy. Hmm..
Job, career, bla bla, I have my own fantasy about them, since I was in my primary school. Although, my fantasy is a fantasy, I also acknowledged that, it won't be like how I wanted it to be, I mean, oh dang! I'm running out of vocabulary. Anyhow, I did had a job, and all, and now, maybe it is really the best time for me, to focus on 'that' stuff. You see, to say that I leave everything to GOD completely, I don't that's very accurate, because, last time, eventhough I can consider myself as a person that never misses prayers, but somewhere in me, I still have a little doubt. And I am sure, ALLAH s.w.t hates that, and HE gives me all these 'nonsense' 'in-my-naked-eyes', since, you know. I'm sorry for that once, me. But, with HIS will too, I hope, I am now, a complete servant for HIM. No more doubt, no more bajet-bagus. I didn't show it to public, though, but I knew it myself. I am not good enough, yet.
Love-line? I don't know, but it is true that, i only started to be a little open to this kinda things, once I finished my Diploma, so, yup, I got to know few of the billion, and I think I can confidently say that, I know, my criteria. At the same time, I also keep reminding myself, that I hell no perfect than anyoneelse. But, just be a little hard, is still ok, since, I always think that religion and culture can never leave each other. Recently, I read lots of religious kind of love thingy, histories and yeah, I'm sorry, "Well find bucket" is not my original style. But people can get a wrong idea, whenever I communicate with some of the opposite genders, but you see, that isn't mean in a weird ways. I'm sorry. If, I ever 'hurt' anyone. I don't know very well, but, aaah. Ok, when I was in my senior secondary school, I have a friend, and she is in the list of my Old Fren's list, and we both had a deal. Whoever has boyfriend, in that weird-manner, they have to treat Pizza Huts. Seriously, never yet. Ok, there was one time, I really treated her with Pizza Hut, BUT, that was because, I needed her for transportation, and it's kinda mutual deal, where, I have this friend, that, I don't know.......well, one of my problem in this life is, once I felt appreciated with/to/by(which one eh?? ) anyone, I will do my best to give them the best treatment. Just that. And that's what I called Friendship. "Don't forget me, as a friend" category. That's all. It's like, an appreciation, and I was the one who promised to treat these friends to Pizza Huts. Maybe the old fren, could actually got the wrong idea, but as time passes by, I am sure, she understood herself by now. It was a story of very long long time ago, anyhow. Ouh, what's with the random~NESS. Frankly typing, by now, I can already confidently, say that, I can control myself, better than before, whenever I have to deal anything with the opposite genders. I'm not a teenage or a baby anymore. I have to jaga myself. I always do research, and 'development'. Sorry, to whom it may concern, except for one 'animal'. Sorry again, its action was too MELAMPAU. I will get over these things after this. All I know is, I will try my best to bring my ego lower than before, have too, to everyone, both genders. Anggap la yang dolu-dolu tu, memang Tuhan nak kasi pengalaman. Hua hua hua.Nak cakap Melayu lah, ngade2, nak gak speaking2...huhuhuhuhu. Ye lah, penting gak sume pengalaman itu. Seriously, I can detect whose poyo and whos not, easily already. Sorry to say, yang genuine-poyo, memang saye tak gemar, tapi yang buat-buat tu, ade gak, aaa yang jenis ni, tade hal. Hahaha. Tak boleh poyo, tak baik. Buat orang menyampah. Buat ape? Buat ape nak kasi orang menyampah ngan kite? Hmm....saye harap, saya memang akan lupekan segale-gale nye, enough is enough, jatuh wajib dah untuk lupakan nih. Bukan cubaan dah. Masa makin suntuk. Tade bende yang saye dah boleh berpuas hati dengan diri sendiri. Lupakan, dan mulakan mentaliti yang lebih segar macam susu dipasteurkan at supermarket. I think, the next guy would be lucky la, because, hahahaha, seriously. I know. Nak jadi lebih perempuan? How? Hahaha, I am a perempuan myself, walaupun pernah merungut nape jadi feremfruan~ Bengong. Hahaha. Maybe, kurangkan sikap yang suke menguji? Hahahahahahahhahahahha, Damn! I am degrading myself! Hahahaha. Nak buat camno, ego tinggi bebenor. Kene stop relate my past history, especially the fact that, not all guys are like my bullyful-brother. Hmm...Kene terima kenyataan yang, kene bertimbang rasa. Seriously I'm typing all these? o.O, hahahaha, nice job o~ ownSELF~.Kene beragak-agak, kene bersederhanalah senang citer. Cukup-cukuplah, judge sane-sini, tapi bukan ape, normal lah. Bukan judge ape neraka syurga ke ape, just judge macam, kemaskah orang itu? Penyantun kah orang itu? Pandai berkomunikasikah orang itu? Penyabarkah orang itu? Berilmukah orang itu? Dan kesemua unsur ni, sungguh senang itu dikenalpasti. Agama. Kalau kuatlah pegangan agamanya, lelaki ke feremfruan ke, confirm, yang disebutkan tadi, akan OK. Agama aje yang boleh menyenangkan kite, percayalah wahai rakan-rakan pembaca. Saye tak lah baik sangat, pernah buat dosa-dosa besar, kecik jangan mentionlah, memang berjela-jela. Sampai memang siap dah berputus asa, tapi, Segala Puji bagi DIA, Tuhan Sekalian Alam, dalam dah berputus asa tu, takut gak. lame-lae, ke agama jugak baliknye, baru lah macam berani nak menghadapi dunia nyata. Kalau tak, hmm...eh!!? dah kat mane ni? Ahahaha, too random can be a headache too, but, takpe lah, since I am listening to songs jugak sekarang, so my mood pon bertukar jugak ikut lagu2 dalam playlist yang dinamakan sebagai 'Emo' in the Windows Media Player. So, paham-paham je lah. Wakakaka. Ni tengah lagu Korea, tajuk die This is War, MBLAQ yang nyanyi, rentak die sungguh best yang best gile. Ntah, kalau tengok maksud lirik, memang ade la kaitan ngan post ni. Pasal kawan tikam belakang. Ok, sekarang tengah lagu Dr. Dre dengan Eminem, and Skyler Grey, and yeah, again, backstabbed by a so-called friends. Oh! rase nak tambah satu lagi lagu, yang ade lirik, "Now you're just somebody that I used to know" tu. Hahaha. Bukan ape, alah, patut nye citer kat perengggan atas tu, aaah, takpe lah, saye betul-betul promote kat primary Facebook account saye je blog saye ni. Anggap la saye tengah citer pakai mulut. Betul, saye nak berazam, next year tanak dah keluar statement yang negative, walaupun 1% pon. Tanak! Cukup la saya jugak yang termalu sendiri, sebab ikut sangat perasaan marah. Tapi, kalau saye ingat balik, saye betul-betul terdesa giler nak mapuh time tu. Tade sape sudi nak memahami saye mase tu, sebab nak harap saye bercerite, memang tak lah. Saye kalau satu masalah tu, selagi saye tak tahu hujung pangkal camno die boleh wujud, saye memang takkan buat ape 'rumusan', sebab, itu bagaikan prinsip saye. Saye tak suke syak wasangka, saye tak suke buat hipotesis tahpahape sendiri, bajet macam detektif Conan, walaupun saye memang peminat mane-mane cerita yang berunsur Laws, and detectives stuff dari dulu. Kartun ke, buku novel ke, filem ke, memang minat. Baru saye ingat, saye suke giler bace 5 sekawan, and when I was form 2, I started to read yang Enid Blyton punye version English. Suka giler. Ok, poinnye di sini, saye dulu diam, betul-betul sebab saye tak tahu ape yang terjadi sebenarnye. Yang menghadapi masalah tu saye, tapi dah kenapa ada orang lain yang nak memandai-mandai? Dah rase hebat sangat? Ape ke haram punye perangai. Aaaa, da mula rase nak naik darah, sebab ape? Sebab diorg tak pernah nak mengaku. One day, saya tunggu hari 'kejatuhan' diorang. Sebab diorg literally jatuhkan saye. Gile btol. Senang cakap, minahminah bajet bagus so-called skuad pompuan kecuali yang memang saye tahu, hati budi nye.Tapi syukur, saya tak suruh ape-ape, tanpa tekanan fizikal, which is far a better approach, sendiri yang menunjukkan kebovodohan sendiri dengan berani lagi nak komen kat 'kawasan' orang. Aaaa, itulah, dah biasa sangat. Saya sumpah tak pernah melawan depa ni, sebab, entah, tade hati nak bertekak. Satu lagi, diorang ni memang hadap puji-pujian, so, you get my point here? Hahahaha, andailah anda seorang yang berfikir, maka anda akan faham. Yang saye malu ngan diri sangat tu bukan ape, camni, teori saye senang je, sume nye bermule dengan sosial network, saye banyak communicate dengan diorang aje, sampai satu tahap, saye memang tak pon sudi nak 'jenguk2' kawan-kawan lame. So, bile dah berpecah belah camni(tapi malangnye, masih bajet bersatu, nak termuntah! Wek~) saye rase macam, tak ker cam obvious kalau tetibe saye ber hai-hai dengan kawan-kawn lame ni? Saye terlalu memikirkan banyak kemungkinan. Mane tahu, ade yang di antare kawan-kawan lame tu, ade yang terdetik, "Huh, dah tade kawan baru cari aku." Aaaaaaa.......takut giler kot, SEBAB! Saye......ialah orang yang camtu, saye suke ade perasaan yang camtu, yang kirenye, suke judge orang dalam diam la. Saye suke........macam tu, sebab, ntah, tak perasan pun sejak bile ade perangai camtu. Lame gak la nak betulkan cara pemikiran saye ni. Maklumla, before this, tak nampak segala kelemahan sendiri, yang dirasakan kekuatan, walhal ego besar. Lama-lama, lepas tengok orang lain buat, baru saye sedar yang, saye sendiri tak suke orang yang ego, makanye, takkan saye nak ego lagi? So, sikit-sikit saye buang ego, and rupenye, sampai satu tahap, diorg berani pijak kepale saye. Sekarang ni, saye nak balancekan. Ok lah tu, dah pernah jadi humble giler, and ego gile, sekarang bole la adjust, since dah ade pembolehubah yang boleh dimanipulasikan. Cuma satu, saye memang takkan show off ape yang saye rase, sumpah. Kalau dah tertunjuk jugak tu, bermaksud, saye memang dah tahap yang, giler-giler la. Contohnye, yang sampai datang rumah time kite cari rezeki kat Ipoh, burukkan kite kat mak kite sendiri, HEY! Mak saye nanges tau citer ngan saye balik. Mereka-mereka ni, selagi tak nak ngaku depan mak saye n saye and family saye, mereka 'berhutang'. Wah! Depan saye, pijak semut pon tak mati, rupenye 'main' belakang. Siot tak siot. Saye diam je, sampai la suku akhir tahun ni,bile dah confirm, pekung dah makin terbukak, naaa. Ingat saye tak pernah berdoa? Masalahnye, saye yakin gile doa saye, Yang Maha berkuasa akan dengar. Haih. Takkan senang hidup diorg, saya hidup-hidup kena aniaya. maksud kesenangan saye, buakn lah berbentuk macam material yea, tapi more to peace of mind. Memang melampau. Biar sume orang tahu akhlak diorang, giler. Hmm.....ni last saye nak mention pasal diorg nih. Saye harap la. hahaha. Ok, padahal ini perenggan 'soal-hati', hua hua hua. Hmm..saye perlukan yang bole berkomunikasi, tidak poyo dan......boleh tak, saye nak spesifikkan yang saye impikan sejak darjah 2 dulu. Hahhahahhahahhahha, ish! Tak boleh kot, sebab karang, termakan dengan taipan-taipan sendiri. Ye lah, memandai-mandai nak tentukan ape yang dah di tetapkan. Karang jadi bahan orang je. Tak mo saye. Tapi, rase cam best je kalau tulis, sebab, dah bertukar pon. My perspective on ay to see this life pon dah bertukar, since, macam2 yang tak berape macam dah saye lalui. So, kinda dah berkubur la sikit2 of the criteria tu. Ade yang masih relevan, ade yang tak. Kire boleh teka sendiri la. Hahahahhahhaa. Poyo poyo pon, kat blog sendiri. Saye 'menghalalkannye'..hahahahhahahhahahhaha. For fun sake only k. Seriously, saye mix up kan yang mane masih saye guna pakai ngan yang dah tak relevan k. So, anggap la, saye seorang yang childish, yang gedix bajet bagus sekarang nih, sebab pasni, saye rase karakter serious lebih sesuai saye praktikkan dalam hidup saye ni. :/
Ok, let us start. Ini serious dari darjah dua dan makin besar makin bertambah la, saye dah pikirkan. Bukan boyfriend yang ku pinta, tapi yang halal kaedahnye.(OMAIGOAT!!!!!!! This is so not my style of expressing stuff..... =.= )
1. Tinggi at least kepale saye paras bahu sebab vole lentok time dalam pengangkutan awam.
2. Leher jinjang sebab nampak hensem.
3. Tak boleh satu bidang, and since saye mmg nak jadi saintis, so, I chose to be a technical person. So lagi, saye tidak mahu seorg yang technical juga, sebab, itu akan membuatkan saye cepat boring. Artist should be ok. No mathematician or accountants. Something about these careers yang hmm..I dunno, tak ngam la. Hahaha. *ingat ini hanya angan-angan. And lepas ni saye nak do something in laws fields, so, lawyers, OUT! AHahhahahhaha. Ingat ini cakap besar je tau!
4. Nak yang badan cam teddy bear, sebab boleh gantikan teddy bear saye yang ini, Bearira namenye. Ade sejarah 'gelap' yang membuatkan saye sayang giler kat bearira nih, and die telah setia bersame saye sejak darjah dua juga, which was in 1997. Ini pon mangsa kedengkian abang saye, haih, sian saye, orang suke buli abbis tali yang kat leher tu, saye suke buat rikatan ribbon, tapi, saye syak die pegi potong, siap ade tobek kat bhgn kaki lagi. Hmm..
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| Bearira Loves n~5ive since 1997. |
5. Putih dari saye, sebab nak anak putih. Tapi my Mum said, when I was a baby, I was fair, tapi nape cam tak je. Biarlah~
6. Bertanggungjawab dengan family.
7. Faham sikap saye yang suke menguji.
8. Bersabar. Rare species kot. Hmm..
9. Anak lelaki sulung, supaye saye boleh nasihat untuk die berkhidmat untuk ibu bapa dan keluarga. Best oii, kasi-kasi nasihat nih. Dapat pahala.
10. Pandai bawak diri ngan family besar saye yang sangat rapat ini.
11. Faham dengan cita-cita saye yang banyak dan tak mempersoalkannye. Bak kate skuad saye, "Cakap banyak tak guna."
12. Saya tak suke kene pujuk, sebab, saye tak suke dianggap ngengade.
13. Jujur, tak yah nak jage hati sangat. Mane salah tetap salah. Jangan sampai saye rase pada akhirnye yang saye diperbodohkan. Saye ni boleh tahan gak, kalau nak exaggerate satu-satu hal nih. *Baru tahu jugak pasal ade sikap camni. pffft
14. Sayang haiwan.
15. Pandai bangun subhi sendiri, kalau tahajjud boleh, itu bonus namenye.
16. Tak boleh hensem sangat, sebab saye tak lawa sangat. So-so. Tade orang nak dengki lah, buat remarks pelik2 lah, senang cakap, elak fitnah or umpatan. Saye sedar keadaan fizikal saye.
17. Mempunyai adik-veradek yang ramai cam saye, at least lebih dari 7 orang la, so that, faham dengan situasi kite ni yang dah biase hidup dalam keluarga yang besar.
18. Mesti at least dua(2) tahun tua dari saye, atau bundar kan pon tape. Sebaye memang bukan priority, apetah lagi yang lebih muda. Setahun, ermm, at least awal tahun 1988 la, since saye lahir akhir tahun 1989. Nape ntah, maybe ade la tu saye terbace kat mane-mane. OH! OH!!! aaa, baru ingat, sebab ikut parents saye la. Ape da, pening2 nak ingat. kui kui kui.
19. Pandai ngaji, and a perfect al-Fatihah.
20. Rajin and ringan tulang.
21. Senyum manis. Maklum la, sehidup semati kaedahnye, makin tua, hensem ke, tade nye nak kire, kan ke sejuk ati tgk org senyum manis kat kite. Aaaa, itu le kaedahnye. hua hua hua.
22. Tidak membosankan, and I found out something about the technical(Mathematician, IT and accountants, and......engineer :| sory engineers!) field guy, diorg nih, cam ade, skema attitude....hmm.. tapi itu lah, perasaan saye je. Bukan benda negatif pon, tapi saye mmg tak gemor ngan org yang skema. wahahahhaha. bapak aaah, sukati je saye nih. :8}
23. Terima keburukan saye. Sebab kalau dah terime keburukan, takkan tanak terime kebagusan saye pulakkan, cam tak logik je. hua hua hua.
24. Ade banyak kawan yang sejati. Ini penting sebab menunjukkan social skill nye. Bukan ape, senang la nak paham yang saye pon suke berkawan. Kefahaman itu penting.
25. Tidak poyo. Paling penting. Saye allergik orang camni. Mungkin definisi poyo saye tidak same dengan definisi anda ye, wahai pembace.
26. Kena baik dengan abang saye yang istimewa, takat ni je, dah boleh tahu kebagusan seseorang itu. HEH~
Itu je lah kot. Ke hado lagi? wah! Rase cam pelik lak guna lenggok bahasa cam sekarang nih. Mohon abaikan kegelian ini ye, wahai pembace. Seriously, dari pagi, sebelum subuh lagi, saye amik mase nak taip sume ni. Dah jam 1923 dah ni, cantik pulak langt. Maybe dah puas muntahkan air hujan. Ohohoho, so itulah berkenaan dengan, ermm, yeah, spouse and stuff. Cukup kot pengalaman. Hahahha. Who knows, well at least I don't...........hmm, have to admit, few things, I kinda...........hmm....regret? Ah! Never mind. Experience, though. I will focus on my Big Bang, B.A.P and Infinite. That way, I'll be happy to think about guys. Errmm..
Blood-related normal crisis, I will promise myself, I will never ever do one again, I mean, reveal anything regarding it. NEVER! From now on. Past? It's not even worth to remember 'it'. So, full stop.
Body-weigh problemo, ah, I still need to lose about five more kilos, baru puas hati.
And dreams come true moments? It's happening right now.
2007-2013, Goodbye.
*I supposed to copy paste all these which I typed earlier, but then, it turned to be a little sucks, so, I decided to write a new one.
Perhaps, what I will stop do are,
1. No more post about my real jobs. No fun, though.
2. No more family stuff.
3. No more 'scare-off' other peeps.
4. No more past.
I hope I can do it.
Anyhow, here is how this blog has grown up~
 |
| Finally, something won over my bestest entry. Hmm.. |
*ANd today, I made another huge decision. Eventhough I decided to not do one, after an unwanted incident occured three(3) days ago, still, I didn't do it, because of anyone, but except that, there is a person, that is in my mind. I just want to move on, completely. I don't want to think much anymore. It costs moola. But, moola boleh dicari, with HIS guidance. Seriously, I don't care if from this action, somebody will make speculation and all, but, I only did this because of ALLAH s.w.t. I don't know how else should I prove it, since, my ibadah is even judged by somebody. Aaaah! I don't give a cent to that person anymore. My life is not according to her, as she thought she is.
Not to prove or anything, but, it's just something, that I would called,
SEDIAKAN PAYUNG SEBELUM HUJAN.
SHE CAN DO ONCE, TWICE IS A NO PROBLEM, THEN.
*My initial plan:
*And a sudden new plan
*Even the processes were so smooth, I am sure, this is the best move.
*May ALLAH s.w.t leads me, COMPLETELY. Just don't make me sad, over the decision, o~ my LORD. T~T
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Think thrice