02022020

Comments

Post a Comment

Think thrice

Popular posts from this blog

Start Of Something New

Dear Self, It's weird right. Having almost everything that you have been wanted for so long, yet, here you are again, grunting almost every single minute. I mean, what is wrong with now? Is this sad? Or mad? Or simply a depress? What do I keep thinking about "I should've done this, I should've done that" very often.  Happiness.. where are you? Where is that enthusiast me? Because, it seems like, I don't even want to get up from my bed, and living the day.  I think, if anyone would give a comment about my life right now, they would say, it's already perfect. Normal.  Here I am, sighing again. I want to be happy. I think, I remember, back then, travelling made me feel happy. And, making people around me felling comfy, made me feel happy. Unfortunately, some people just screwed it. I tried to be as nice as possible, not wanting to re-do the things I did when I was about to enter adulthood.  I thought I did it this time, but it turned out to be, not that.  I...
Read more

And That Something New Isn't Going Well

I am a state where, every aspect of my lives are in mess. Right now, I am questioning my sanity. Was the too long leave from work, just made me become out of touch from the reality? I'm feeling like I am so stupid. Nothing is going well now. And when I say in every aspects, I mean it literally. I feel pitiful towards my partner, my off-springs.  Oh dear self, what have you become? I feel literally lonely, in this journey call adulthood.  And to be specific, it's about my working life. I think, I just forgot how to mingle with people anymore. But this feeling, is not actually new. I felt very familiar. And what I manage to find is that, I cannot do things alone. I am just incapable. I must have a company to do anything, everything. And, **sigh... Since it's the third, no forth times now, how can I not realize this. Ya Allah.. Please help me, as my mind keeps replaying how I wish I didn't do this. Ya Allah, only to you I am relying. Please find a kind friend for me.
Read more

Tidakkah Mereka Pernah Lihat Mereka-Mereka Yang Menerima Balasan?

  In 5 days, the daughter will turn 1 year and 1 month old. The same day, something big happened too.  The day I am myself again.  I wonder. Why so determined? Who led it? Whatever happened, I rather astonished.  In the name of Allah, I did my best. Plus, I was better, while maintaining whoever I was. I am self-sufficient. In a way that, I never need another human being to back me up. And I don't think that is an unknown. Not at all. Suddenly that person acted up as if I have changed. At this point, I do want to puke.  Thinking these ways, I think will only put me into regressive mode. I can't be that.  I am not sad at all. But what affected me is, my offspring. We never separated even a day since they were born, unless I was hospitalized. But now, I already created a schedule of meeting them.  Allah... Please make me strong.  And I am sorry, I am not the type that is so nice, can still pray for goodness of the people who put me in this current li...
Read more