The Monster Who Had Been in 'Hibernate' Mode..



The recent event really had shaken things up. Even after a week, I cannot comprehend any of its logical. It's literally something that was not exist, but, this creature, simply created it, hence shattered people's heart and later, act innocent. And....not-so-surprising, this d****** has a biggest back-up.


I DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING FROM NOW OWN. NOT A SINGLE THING. NOPE


It was unexpected, that I did not even prepare my mind, even for 0.1%-ly. That, just really brought me back to where I wasn't even at the starting point. I......am becoming that monster again.

Apparently, whatever you keep inside, will eventually appear to the outside. Without you really want it to be. But, what's the difference. Nobody is at my side, so what? SO F****** WHAT?




But, perhaps, this time around, I have more power to change from the previous similar event, but....




I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING.

I WILL NOT.

KEEP BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR FROM A THIRD PARTY.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.










What I'll do now, is to really realize whatever these ruin-ers think.
I don't have any lover, so, that's just a plus point for me.



Am I BAD?




YES, I AM.





I F****** AM.











271019
1354hrs








Comments

Post a Comment

Think thrice

Popular posts from this blog

Songs that make me cry, at least once.

Image
"Akak pernah tak, dengar lagu, pastu, nangis?" asked a colleague. -Flashing back to some memories- "Ade." "So, saye tak gila lahkan." ----------------------------------------------------------- Well, of course I have. But most of them, are no longer cry-able. Why? Most probably because, I have move on. *laugh ----------------------------------------------------------- But I remember one song, I cried as I listen to it, and I was 12 at that very moment. It was Viva Forever by Spice Girls. Well, of course there was a moment. A moment where, I was no longer a part of Bangsar Baru community. I love the place, to be honest. Family matters, that's it. The place that I lived was, somewhat, I don't know. The thing is, I'm just an emotional biacth. Haha. But I do remember, the feel when I understood that, I will no longer waking up with the same vision. The thing that I used to see, to feel. That was sad, right? To be honest,
Read more

And That Something New Isn't Going Well

I am a state where, every aspect of my lives are in mess. Right now, I am questioning my sanity. Was the too long leave from work, just made me become out of touch from the reality? I'm feeling like I am so stupid. Nothing is going well now. And when I say in every aspects, I mean it literally. I feel pitiful towards my partner, my off-springs.  Oh dear self, what have you become? I feel literally lonely, in this journey call adulthood.  And to be specific, it's about my working life. I think, I just forgot how to mingle with people anymore. But this feeling, is not actually new. I felt very familiar. And what I manage to find is that, I cannot do things alone. I am just incapable. I must have a company to do anything, everything. And, **sigh... Since it's the third, no forth times now, how can I not realize this. Ya Allah.. Please help me, as my mind keeps replaying how I wish I didn't do this. Ya Allah, only to you I am relying. Please find a kind friend for me.
Read more

Start Of Something New

Dear Self, It's weird right. Having almost everything that you have been wanted for so long, yet, here you are again, grunting almost every single minute. I mean, what is wrong with now? Is this sad? Or mad? Or simply a depress? What do I keep thinking about "I should've done this, I should've done that" very often.  Happiness.. where are you? Where is that enthusiast me? Because, it seems like, I don't even want to get up from my bed, and living the day.  I think, if anyone would give a comment about my life right now, they would say, it's already perfect. Normal.  Here I am, sighing again. I want to be happy. I think, I remember, back then, travelling made me feel happy. And, making people around me felling comfy, made me feel happy. Unfortunately, some people just screwed it. I tried to be as nice as possible, not wanting to re-do the things I did when I was about to enter adulthood.  I thought I did it this time, but it turned out to be, not that.  I&#
Read more