n~5ive

The recent event really had shaken things up. Even after a week, I cannot comprehend any of its logical. It's literally something that was not exist, but, this creature, simply created it, hence shattered people's heart and later, act innocent. And....not-so-surprising, this d****** has a biggest back-up. I DO NOT TRUST ANYTHING FROM NOW OWN. NOT A SINGLE THING. NOPE It was unexpected, that I did not even prepare my mind, even for 0.1%-ly. That, just really brought me back to where I wasn't even at the starting point. I......am becoming that monster again. Apparently, whatever you keep inside, will eventually appear to the outside. Without you really want it to be. But, what's the difference. Nobody is at my side, so what? SO F****** WHAT? But, perhaps, this time around, I have more power to change from the previous similar event, but.... I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. I WILL NOT. KEEP BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR FROM A THIRD PARTY. I DON'T CAR...

Feeling? What is that? To be treated unkindly, I shall, it's just my food. But how irony is that, some think I should always be nice. I tell you, F8CK OFF It seems that many things are just remain the same, and it's so frustrating to know. Like, why? Why? F8CKING WHYYYYY????? If I could call myself 10 years ago, lacking in so many areas, as stupid, that's because I really was. But, do I just stay being stupid? I can't let that happen. And, here I am. Which I hope, I would be given the chance to maintain whatever I've been working on. But I seriously start to have an allergy reaction toward stupidity. For God sake. But WHY........ Why one can let that happen to them? Do they not realize it?  The worst thing about being stupid is to be heartless. Unkind. Sickening. And I did all those before.  And what I mean by heartless is, I had no feeling. I did have tears rolled down onto my cheeks, but that's that.  I can't ev...

I still remember, one of my wishes during those sombre-days( can refer to my 2013 posts, where I had nothing to do, because there's just literally nothing productive to do, except to type all my heart out, and my rebellious mind on social medias, unstoppable-ly ), that was to have a busy-life. A busy-life, that there would be no room at all for me to think about any of those that were my concern, then. And, it's here. N5 is f***ing BUSY NOW. Noni is d*am BUSY NOW. NUR SYAZWANI BINTI GHANI is sooooo BUSY NOW. ...and I'm enjoying it so much. And for that, I really really feel grateful towards The Most Loving, The Merciful, Allah SWT for all these, that I am having now. Imagine, around six years ago, I had no idea, what's my future be like. I had to taste the harshness of life in reality, for the first time. Who knew that, for all the while, I was only living in fantasy. Huhu... it's all in the past now. But, if I am being asked about the positive thing...

 Hi!

As I am typing these, I haven't come up with any title yet.. because, I know there is something that I want to clear off from my chest and mind, but,  I only have little-to-zero clue of where to start. I just read my assignment's question which was given to us last week, yet, what's a student without procastination, so here I am, doing everything at the very last minute. I supposed to start doing it if I want to get a sleep tonight. But usually, I would end up stay up until the class finish by 12.30PM tomorrow. Oh, right after the class, I'll have my very own me-time. Yeah yeah.... Fiuu... Okey, why not if I say something about the fact that I am 30 this year. First off, I had no idea that I would still be alive until this age. Thirty guys...THIRTHY....friggin' THIRTY..... ...and I get tired SUPER EASILY. Am still tired while typing these.. Last time when my two elder sisters complained about all these get-tired things, when they turned into that 3-serie...

oh...It was on the end of January....I thought at least it was February, and there was only one entry?? Wawwww....impressive.. *patting le self. And now we almost reach the end of April. Ufff, time is really running too fast. But I think I am enjoying each moment of it. But still, it's soo fast. LOL Ok, this blog's theme is negativity...ok, wait, lemme think about something negative that happen in my life currently.. ..... .................... ..... Oh!! Last weekend, I was the floor manager for my MGSian Besties wedding, and I had super fun time, eventhough, towards the end of the ceremony, my waist felt as if it was being twisted. But it was soooo fun....May Allah bless her marriage with HIS love. ... But that's not negative, OK, next... OH! Yesterday!! My SMKSAAS sisters, yeah, we manage to like calling each other by that siblings-like title, and yeahhh, the last we reunited was during the eldest's wedding like 3-4...