n~5ive

These very two days, I've been spending my time, listening to the good old time musics, especially by my all time favourite since I was 12, A1. They have this one song, called "Caught In The Middle". After a very long time, today, I have to deal with the situation again. Right now, I need to decide on something. The problem is, I have to choose either. It's all just today, that I finally thinking this way, where, the original plan was to grab both stuff. But, my mind was brought back to those days, where I mindlessly do stuff, without thinking the consequences to my own body, my mind, and my life. I was too greedy back then, where I eventually lost, most of the things. Eventhough I am still alive today, I have to deal with the regrets until now. Now back to the point, where I am caught in the middle of choosing. Last time, whatever I wanted to do, it was solely my decision, whereas, these days, I consider about other's opinion. I think I have changed for better...

At this very moment, I should have supposed to be busy-ing up my mind with what will I go through on early September. But here, with my finally-come-back-to-mommy Inspiron, while hearing to 4 I the Morning, Forgive Me, So Soon and Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely on the YouTube playlist, with the most laziest lazy pant on earth pairing with decent cotton white t-shirt, thinking, of nothing. ........... I don't know..... I have so many bad news and good news coming in one time. Even the feeling can't identified its own condition. The future is finally show some light; this is a good news, the current is still under expectation; this is too a good news, my Love, Min-Jeong the cat found her new guardian; this is a bad news, my second gateway to outside Malaysia have to be cancelled for some safety reasons; bad as in I've spent too much time planning the 'storyline'(including the video I'm gonna upload as if I'll be jumping to go there again and upl...

Appreciate. There's not always a chance to see me smiling, sincerely, especially to you. Who are you? You wouldn't know who you are,b'cos you're just one of those who practice lil' shame in life, the creatures that once dare to go against me, even though, I didn't even need you, in the naked eyes. But what to do, I have GOD's orders to follow and to obey. How hard this is, to ignore some human errors that I tend to do, as I am only a human. How irony life can be, when story is encountering a twist in the plot. No intention to be attentive to the arrogance nature, but do you remember? All the words, some were harsh, some were fakingly nice, etc. For all I saw was to end the life. But, now, rather than to open up every pieces of shattered memories, tell me how to forget? When all you do right now, is keep replaying the same role? Especially when the situation is not fit to you? Making me thinking, as if, you are pretending all the way until today? Your acti...