n~5ive

So, I just came back from visiting my mom's lil' bro's bro-in-law, as he just done his operation after an accident. He's in unconscious state. Too many machines and wires as his life support. Mom and me met the wife, and all I said was, "Sabar ye, aunty." I never knew this people before, as the family hierarchy shows that we are no close at all. It's been a kinda-tough-but-worth-it months, plus, I feel like I have aged rapidly since especially three months back. Seriously. But as I saying, since it's worth it, I have nothing much to complain. Actually, hmm, I really really have nothing to write about. Life is just too normal. I'm giving myself at least until end of this year, before 'ridinga' a roller coaster again, insyaALLAH. Hmm.. Okey, let's write something about, how fragile and unsure life is. Hmm.. Yeah, that's that. Oh, anyway I just finally finished read this very one novel, the author is Javier Cercas and the t...

Some people are just not worth to be kept in my life anymore. Well, it's not like I am that hot to say these, but the struggles I have gone through, especially some years ago, have really taught me about myself. It's as if I myself just knew and met that side of me. When I thought I am the most coolest person in dealing problems, well I wasn't. To think again, it's fine. *oh my, I feel like crying. For all my life, I just never want to do against the odds. Whatever people have said, written, whatever, about how reality works and hurts, I have spent almost my whole life to figure out and make sure that, life is really like in Ed, Edd and Eddy, or the Dexter's Laboratory, or cartoon. Still as I watched them again at this age, they were actually, hmm, still hard. Hahaha. Nevermind. This heart has already managed to identify, who's who. Seriously, I maybe faking up my smile after this to some, but for every lies and backstabs, it may be forgiven, but I learned....

Aaah... So Big Bang is making their comeback, seeing them is such an eye candy. Heh. Their new releases, hmm..ear candy? Ahaha, can't think a better term, heh. I just love Big Bang, shall we? And April 2015 has gone, coming back no more. But what happened may do come back, maybe to tease me, *bad April, mommy gonna smack u. After so long, I think I can describe it as a freaking stressful one. I completely lose my mind on 28/04/2015. I experienced a blackout. I felt so numb. So, what I did us, before I reached the house, I texted my mom, to spend the rest of the night with me, physically. I really need someone to hug me, and I thought that, only my mom can do that. So, there she was, lying next to me. I hugged her until new day started again, and I just lived until the end of the month, when I first thought, I might have dead by then. You see, I never felt stressful, seriously in life. Ouh, maybe that's just sound too exaggerate, but, ok let's just say it this way, I ra...