n~5ive

On my mom's birthday 2 weeks ago, I promised to her that I will lower down my temper a lil'. But I can't see or feel any good progression. I especially lose my temper whenever I am asked to 'hold' responsibilities, as simple as doing house chores. Next thing that will drive me nuts, is when I am corrected on anything, Especially from anyone that I have only a lil' respect on(I'm sorry, because my respect on anyoneelse is too 'expensive'). I maybe no longer throw tantrum, but the heartbeats, the breathing, and the heat of my body, I really can't ignore them. I don't really get mad in a way like a dumb adolescence does, but just I hate to go through it. Because I knew that showing off the anger won't make me feel better, but that's that, holding them is so tiring. But what I try to practice on these beautiful years, I sometimes will let the one who responsible for the madness knows about the emotional situation results from her/his ...

Hahaha....sudddenly. So I'm kinda considering to change this blog's theme. After all, I'm into another level already. And, yes, I'm listening to I Gotta Go My Own Way right now in YouTube and, ahahahaha. Oh my... I think I was a happy bom bom because I had them. My mind was full with all these teen dramas, songs and such stuffs. Try to listen one, they are awesome, and almost a decade since they were released. Very straightforward and like literally~ly done. I have every lyrics in mind, I don't lie. Hahaha. One of my most favourite. :D Talking about how I have them planted in my brain, I think I really took their lyrics too seriously that I even practiced them in my real life, without I realized. Hahaha, funny. The above song, I sang it during thr Minggu Suai Kenal(MSK) 2007 as the ice-breaker. I dragged my schoolmate-turn-squad, Ojan, and jumped as how we supposed to in front of that new crowds, the ROTU AirForce, UiTM Kota Samarahan. I tell ...

I still can't handle separation very well, and to night, is the littlest brother farewell. He may just like 5 minutes distance from home, but the fact that he will spent time more not in home, I hate it. I hate it because I hate it! The ugliest part is, he will change. Into someoneelse, it doesn't matter to better or what, but he willchange. Eight years ago, I left him for Sarawak, and I suffered a severe depression. He was 6. I still remember of the last goodbye waves at the boarding gate. It was as crazy as hell. And after three years I was back home, but I changed. But now that I am shifted back to the original self, now he has to go? Since last few weeks, I kept asking when we'll he go? And I always felt relieved as the moments were always delayed until today. Oh my god......... Eventhough me, myself make this home of ours almost as if it is the second home, as the first is the workplace, considering the time spent, I still don't want you to go, oh little ...