n~5ive

So, I just came back from visiting my mom's lil' bro's bro-in-law, as he just done his operation after an accident. He's in unconscious state. Too many machines and wires as his life support. Mom and me met the wife, and all I said was, "Sabar ye, aunty." I never knew this people before, as the family hierarchy shows that we are no close at all. It's been a kinda-tough-but-worth-it months, plus, I feel like I have aged rapidly since especially three months back. Seriously. But as I saying, since it's worth it, I have nothing much to complain. Actually, hmm, I really really have nothing to write about. Life is just too normal. I'm giving myself at least until end of this year, before 'ridinga' a roller coaster again, insyaALLAH. Hmm.. Okey, let's write something about, how fragile and unsure life is. Hmm.. Yeah, that's that. Oh, anyway I just finally finished read this very one novel, the author is Javier Cercas and the t

Some people are just not worth to be kept in my life anymore. Well, it's not like I am that hot to say these, but the struggles I have gone through, especially some years ago, have really taught me about myself. It's as if I myself just knew and met that side of me. When I thought I am the most coolest person in dealing problems, well I wasn't. To think again, it's fine. *oh my, I feel like crying. For all my life, I just never want to do against the odds. Whatever people have said, written, whatever, about how reality works and hurts, I have spent almost my whole life to figure out and make sure that, life is really like in Ed, Edd and Eddy, or the Dexter's Laboratory, or cartoon. Still as I watched them again at this age, they were actually, hmm, still hard. Hahaha. Nevermind. This heart has already managed to identify, who's who. Seriously, I maybe faking up my smile after this to some, but for every lies and backstabs, it may be forgiven, but I learned.

Aaah... So Big Bang is making their comeback, seeing them is such an eye candy. Heh. Their new releases, hmm..ear candy? Ahaha, can't think a better term, heh. I just love Big Bang, shall we? And April 2015 has gone, coming back no more. But what happened may do come back, maybe to tease me, *bad April, mommy gonna smack u. After so long, I think I can describe it as a freaking stressful one. I completely lose my mind on 28/04/2015. I experienced a blackout. I felt so numb. So, what I did us, before I reached the house, I texted my mom, to spend the rest of the night with me, physically. I really need someone to hug me, and I thought that, only my mom can do that. So, there she was, lying next to me. I hugged her until new day started again, and I just lived until the end of the month, when I first thought, I might have dead by then. You see, I never felt stressful, seriously in life. Ouh, maybe that's just sound too exaggerate, but, ok let's just say it this way, I ra